Saturday, April 3, 2010

Rejoice brothers! The iPad hit the shelves. Χριστός Ανέστη!

Ladies and Gentlemen, WE GOT HIM!
On Saturdays before Easter, Christians around the world celebrate the resurrection of Jezus of Nazareth only by the coming of midnight! Not in the US though, at least not this year. Believers of all religions of the world have rushed to the US this weekend and already started Easter 2010 celebrations at 9 am this morning in front of the temples of today's dominant religion for the übergeeks! A New Church with scores of cheering High Priests dressed in Blue! The Apple Stores!

For several hours now, the net has been simply flooded with hundreds of reports that describe early adopter experiences. TV crews and reporters assembled in the dozens in front of Apple's flagship stores in NYC and SF. Uploads keep hitting YouTube at the rate of one clip a minute, showing acts of unboxing and first tests. A number of live blogs follow the events in real time too. It has been reported that the energy levels and bonding among fans waiting in queues are infectious. Cheers as in heroes welcome accompanied early buyers as they exited the stores with their iPad boxes. A certain character had lots of fun by exiting a store with an empty bag and with his camcorder shooting the crowds as they were cheering on him; he got his moment of glory alright, before the crowd realized he was a phony... Pumping the fists and passing high fives everywhere. Like someone said: "This thing... it's not about technology... it's about a culture!" Even Woz rushed to queue in front of the SF store to pick-up his three iPads - what a miserable show-off this moron is! I betsa he did that to see his pathetic name appear in reports around the world again. Why doesn't he just shut his gob up, for crying out loud?! Apparently, even Daniel Lions (aka Fake Steve) recently interviewed the bugger for Newsweek! If you can't reach God himself, at least you can reach his pretentious look-alikes...

In the dozens of clips I watched and photographs I saw it seems that anyone with an iPad also bought a bunch of accessories too, like docking stations, keyboards, VGA connectors, camera interface kits and the iPad Case. I'll be curious to see which new all-time records the June quarter will bring Apple's numbers to. It's gonna be scary.

In the meantime, those who fanatically despise all things Apple and its fans (like the Romans hated and chased Christians in the early AD centuries) were also in large numbers present in the blogosphere today, ready to spit out their venom. Well, don't mind them, morons... Like Jesus said in his prayers: Forgive 'em Father, 'cos they won't even see it, if it hit 'em in their ugly face...

On the other hand, quite a few among the publicly known Apple evangelists, like St-Walter (Mossberg) and St-David (Pogue), already reported much longer battery lives between charges than Apple had previously claimed... above 11 hrs. Wow! That's pretty cool. And everybody else is reporting that the browser speed is lightning fast! Apple's A4 processor is well on its way to eventually prove a new world wonder. In between, Apple published a whole bunch of new video clips demoing their preloaded apps. Apparently, in addition to the 150K iPhone apps, which presumably run on iPads as well, there are at least a thousand native iPad apps already available for purchasing and download. These also include Apple's three iWork apps. I especially like those. They will cause a major paradigm shift in the traditional Office productivity routine of ours. For text, spreadsheets and slide-presentations.

A new era in personal computing, folks, has seen the light today. Away with files and folders and folder tree structures. Away with multitasking only good for swallowing useless processor cycles. Away with the mice, styluses and trackballs. The new devices shall transform into some sort of natural extension to our bodies. They'll be the magic windows to a new world where common humans are gradually made into knowledge super-heros. Bless his Jobness, who came to earth 54 years ago and even fought Medicine stats to emerge as a pancreatic cancer survivor and resurrect from his death with a transplanted lever! Yes, Your Holiness, we are all true believers!

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